Jesus loved Judas anyway
…and we can too
“But there are some of you that do not believe.’ For Jesus knew from the first who those were that did not believe, and who it was that would betray him.” - John 6:64
I’ve really been thinking a lot lately about the relationship between Jesus and Judas. The Bible made it very clear that Jesus knew Judas would betray him. And considering we live in a “cancel culture” where it’s acceptable to cut someone off for pretty much anything, it seems crazy that Jesus still invited him to be an apostle. Jesus still included him. Jesus still let Judas handle the money bag.
Jesus loved Judas anyway.
It makes me think about how I treat the people in my life who, in a sense, have betrayed me. Like most people, I’ve had my fair share of being hurt by people who loved me. And it would be very easy to stay stuck in a cycle of bitterness and resentment.
But Jesus taught us a better way.
Now, I’m not saying to not have boundaries. Jesus did instruct his apostles: “And if any one will not receive you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet as you leave that house or town” (Matthew 10:14). And trust me, I understand that sometimes you can’t have a relationship with a loved one anymore. Sometimes it’s best for our well-being or theirs to step away or at least to minimize interactions. Sometimes a loved one steps away from us, and we have no control over the situation.
Regardless of the situation, though, we can still love them.
And I think sometimes we’re loving someone when we’re actually not. If you’re constantly thinking about all of the ways they’ve fallen short or insisting on your way, maaaaybe we need to consider the ways we need to grow in love. (I’m speaking to myself here, too.)
It brings tears to my eyes as I sit here thinking about how many times I have begged the Lord lately to help me love like He does. To be able to think about someone who hurt me and not have anger well up inside me. To not get stuck on “what could have been” and instead be grateful for what was. To truly want the best for someone I love, even if it doesn’t include me. To be able to look at any “Judas” in my life and still love them for who they are, even though they didn’t love me the way I wanted or needed.
It’s hard. I wish it were easier. But I’m grateful that Jesus showed us the way. He lived with Judas for years, even though he knew the end result. He lived with ten other men who deserted him in his hour of need (and I’m guessing he knew that would happen, too). He still talked to the Pharisees and Sadducees, even though they were constantly trying to trick him and test him.
Whew. Jesus teaches us so much, if we spend time with him in the sacraments and in Scripture. Months after my post about relationships being hard, where I still had so many questions, I’m starting to see more answers.
“For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you salute only your brethren, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You, therefore, must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” (Matthew 5:46-48)
I lived the first 20 something years of my life blissfully unaware that relationships could be complicated. And sometimes I wish I could return to those seemingly pleasant years. It’s easy to love people who love you, after all. But then I think about how judgmental and critical I was back then, and I know I needed some refining. A lot of refining, actually. Jesus said we must be perfect, and painful relationships are just one way we can get there… if we do the work. (You know, like removing the log from our eye.)
I think about how much I’ve grown and learned. I think about how much more deeply I love Jesus and how I know now that he really is the only one in whom I will find true fulfillment. I hope I’ve also become more like Jesus (but maybe you should ask my husband about that one, since he lives with me). And I think about how I’m desperately trying to love like Jesus, because I really want to still love even those who have hurt me deeply.
Honestly, it still kind of sucks that God is using painful relationships to refine me in this way. It’s not what I would choose. But if I had cancer or a family member died, I wouldn’t want that either. Nobody gets to choose their cross. But we do get to choose whether or not we take it up. We do get to choose whether we will carry our cross… or if we will let it carry us.
“...and he who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for my sake will find it.” (Matthew 10:38-39)
And I’m realizing that God knows which cross will make us perfect. He knows how to draw us closer to him. He knows the experiences and trials that will increase virtue in us. He knows the ways in which we will learn to love like him.
He also knew what would be helpful to us in Scripture. Was it necessary to make it clear that Jesus knew Judas would betray him? I say yes! Because we all need to know that Jesus loved him anyway.
And we can love the same way too.
“We love, because he first loved us.” (1 John 4:19)